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Christmas Wish List

Here's my cop out Christmas wish list for the Sonics:

Rashard Lewis - One of the few Sonics who still believes in Santa. I say we give him milk & cookies every time he scores over 30 & thank the good Lord he's only 22. Give him a good contract,leave him alone, & watch him grow with Nate's help into the all-around player we all thought he was gonna be before this year.

Desmond Mason - An AAA membership & a safety net. A good example of what staying in school & hard work can do for you. I'm just worried that his high flying act will result in another injury -- something we seem to be experiencing in epidemic numbers this season.

Brent Barry - Plastic surgery. Sorry Bones,but as one of the smartest Sonics with the best sense of humor, surely you can appreciate the validity of this request.

Gary Payton - A lifetime refill of his prozac prescription,or whatever it is he's taking this year.

Vin Baker - Just needs everybody to get off his back. FOR GOD'S SAKE CAN'T YOU ALL SEE HOW MUCH BETTER HE IS THIS YEAR? If that's not possible, another year's worth of Jenny Craig prepackaged meals & a pair of 3x sequined tights.

Art Long - Personalized reflector knee & elbow pads,with a matching lunch pail -- the guy comes to work every night. If he could just avoid so much contact,I'm sure his insurance would go down.

Vladimir Radmanovic - A fifth of Slivovitz, a license to run over people, & a bright future.

Predrag Drobnjak - A six-pac abs machine. This guy LOOKS like an enforcer, but he needs to spend next summer on the beach kicking sand in some faces to believe it himself. The improved physique will give him confidence.

Calvin Booth - Some Air Jordan Hightops & a spine. Whether it's his ankles or not, there's a quota of one prima donna per team & Vin's already got that position locked up on this team. We don't need any more over priced finesse players.

Jerome James - A place to live with a nanny/maid who makes sure amongst other things that the water's shut off every night; & a dry cleaning gift certificate to get all of Vin's clothes cleaned.

Earl Watson - Early season UCLA football tickets.

Olumide Oyedeji - An outside shot; hell, ANY kind of shot! With the energy & hops this guy has, he should have a great future as a brewmaster.

Antonio Harvey - Name recognition & a giant 6 foot white pukka rabbit to keep him company on the bench. Ventrilloquism lessons might be in order as well.

Shammond Williams - A new "do", headband, and a two week Amtrack ticket to shop his skills.

Nate & the coaching staff - a correspondence course in player psychology; plenty of asprin; & a "get out of the second game (in back to backs) free" card.

Wally Walker - A crystal ball & a clue.

Howard Schultz - A new marketing strategy & a ghost writer

And to all the readers & participants in this forum - A Very Merry Christmas & A Happy & Prosperous New Year.

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