I'M BIG ENOUGH, I'M STRONG ENOUGH, & GOSH DARN IT I'M ENOUGH OF A LOW POST PRESENCE. SO WHY DON'T PEOPLE LIKE ME?

We are now 25-27 with Vin Baker playing, including the last twelve games since he's returned from his latest injury. In Vin's most recent reincarnation, we've gone 7-5, but have lost four of the last five games as the team seems to be in a bit of a funk over Vin's lethargy & lackadaisical attitude. In his absence we went 19-8. What's amazing to me is that some people still question his effect on the team.Let me ask once again: What does it take to prove to these people that the team simply plays better without Vin in the picture, FOR WHATEVER REASON. It gets sillier and sillier to say that a team that won 70% of their games without Baker;and is currently at 48% with him -- it borders on the absurd to say that he has nothing to do with this disparity. No matter how many other excuses you can come up with to try & explain it away, you can't entirely discount Vin's effect.

After losing to Denver, New York, Houston, & Phoenix in the last twelve games, you can hardly blame it on a superior level of competition. Yet people in local forums -- buoyed by an illogical contrarian local sports writer, continue to maintain that there is nothing statistically significant in these figures to cause this quantum leap of faith. What kind of sample size do they need -- a couple of MORE seasons?

After we lost a slowed down half court game to a dreadful New York Knicks team in which only 169 points were scored, these very same people were still heard to be harping about how valuable Vin's low post threat would be in the upcoming playoffs. Valuable how? Like he's been since his return? Oh I'm not so naive as to deny that there are other factors involved, but I still maintain that the largest single factor affecting this team adversely is none other than Vin himself. The Knicks are a lottery team, a mere vestige of their former selves. This is the kind of game that should have played right into Vin's hands.

And then there was the Clipper game in which, as David Locke reported, the Sonics' defense allowed 23 of 29 Clipper shots to fall while Vin was in there until the Sonics made a slight run midway through the fourth quarter. It's like that every game! Most of the time the best thing you can say about Vin is that he was a non-factor. Like last night against Phoenix he had 6 points, 4 rebounds, & 3 turnovers in 24 minutes. Against the Clippers, he had more turnovers (4) than rebounds (3). Single digit production has become a way of life once again for Vin Baker, a guy who just really doesn't seem to care any more for this team than we have come to care about him.

The final straw for many was the recent NY Daily News interview by Frank Isola in which Vin all but told the Sonics they could kiss his big black ass for all he cared about Seattle. He'd rather be in New York, thank you very much. Yet deniers of reality in some cases questioned whether or not this interview were even REAL. They questioned the fact that it had a Sacramento byline on it, & claimed that something was fishy because we never played New York in Sacramento. No I'm not making this up! They went on to question why no local media had picked up the story, & why no one in the Sonics organization had commented on it. It was as if, to them, some higher standard of validation were necessary to keep them from looking like fools for having backed Baker all along. Even when Frank Hughes made reference to the story & Kevin Calabro asked Vin about it after the Clippers game, some of these people just crawled in their holes & tried to pretend the whole thing never REALLY happened. For some people, Vin Baker will always be a hero; REALITY BE DAMNED! Their mantra now has become, "It takes more than one guy to lose a game."

I have given up trying to usher such people in out of the cold. They live in their own little fantasy world populated by similar cretins & fools for whom no amount of facts or statistics have any hope of swaying. They believe what they believe, & that's reason enough for them. Logic is a town they never want to visit, for there are rules which must be followed there. Remove one card, & the entire house comes tumbling down. Better to simply remain where you are, build an annex, & not worry about how unwieldy your belief system if becoming. It's a place where what passes as a nightmare for you or me is revered as constructive thinking by those possessed of little more than a wing & a prayer.

These people go on to lament the fact that Vin has been getting called for so many offensive fouls lately. Apparently they haven't been watching him push opposing players out of rebounding position in the small of the back instead of expending more energy working for good position himself. Nor apparently do they see him tussling with defenders on the low block flailing away with his various appendages as if some sanctioned form of hand-to-hand combat were taking place. They think Vin has some kind of credibility problem & is continually getting bum calls. They can't understand why the rules have suddenly changed for Vin, when in reality lazy play is finally starting to catch up with him. Opposing players & referees alike have finally figured out what to look for. There really is no great mystery. Tony Bennett may have left his heart in San Francisco. Vin, if he ever had one, can only hope to find his on the yellow brick road to New York.

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Heavy pressed send, & his column was off to Seattle & the folks back home at SonicsCentral.com.He got up, stretched, & headed into the other room to look for Ginny. He wanted to talk to her some more about his bubblehead doll idea. She had pooh-poohed it previously as unoriginal, & besides, she had told him, celebrity rubber duckies were the hot new thing. If he'd wanted to make himself useful, she had said, he should work on a way to get the top heavy creatures to float. He wasn't sure if she was kidding when she'd told him, "That should be right up your alley." He also wanted to tell her about a new idea that would rescue the airline industry from the recent downturn they were experiencing. They simply need to hire strippers as stewardesses. It was a well-known fact that Muslim hijackers would have to avert their eyes from the unclad female form, giving ample opportunity to capture them & avoid repeating the tragedies of 9/11. And even if there were no attempted hijackings, just the anticipation alone would keep flights booked for months in advance. It was BRILLIANT if he did say so himself!

As Heavy approached the bathroom, the sound of water alerted him to the fact that Ginny was in the shower. He was just about to ask her how long she'd be when he was strangely drawn to an oddly titled business card next to her purse on the counter. "Evil Genius Enterprises", it said in heavily stylized baroque lettering. What really caught his attention was the 206 area code #. He really didn't want to snoop, but curiosity got the better of him. He called the number.

"Wally Walker's office," the female voice answered on the other end of the line.

"Oh excuse me," Heavy stammered, "I was trying to reach EGE."

"This is; shall I connect you with Mr. Walker?"

"Uh,sure." Heavy was really confused. What did this all mean?

"This is Wally; can I help you?"

Heavy recovered from his shock in time to hang up quickly enough, he hoped, to avoid arousing suspicion. What in the hell was going on here? In the back of his head, he noticed that the water was no longer running. He rushed to replace the card next to Ginny's purse, & slipped quietly out of the bathroom, hoping he hadn't been noticed. Heavy felt like his entire world had been rocked to the foundation. What exactly was going on here, he hadn't a clue. But instinctively he knew SOMETHING was wrong. It hurt his head to think about it, but he felt as if he must. Ginny saved any in-depth examination.

"Finish your column, honey?"

"Yes . . . yes I did."

Ginny immediately felt the tension in the air, but smiled before turning to collect her thoughts. NOW what was up with this guy, she thought. Was he still mad about his stupid bubblehead doll idea she had mocked; or was it some ridiculous NEW fantasy? It wouldn't be long before she found out.

Editor's Note: The preceding is fiction. Any resemblance to real people, events, or locations is purely coincidence.

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